If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call the police on 000.
If you or someone you know needs someone to talk to, for any reason, about anything, you can visit eHeadspace, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, 24 hours a day or visit The Orange Door.
Families can be a source of comfort and support, but they can also be a source of conflict and anxiety.
Here's some advice for getting through the rough times with your family.
Family conflict
Family conflict can happen when family members have different views or beliefs that clash or can't get along with a family member. It's different from family violence, which is a more serious situation.
It's normal to come into conflict with your family members. Arguments and disagreements are common, but some things can be hard to get past.
There are many reasons for family conflict and disagreement, but there are also many ways to try to resolve things.
Being prepared to discuss your opinions instead of arguing is a good start. So is being ready to compromise if necessary.
Divorce, separation and children
Divorce and separation are common. They can happen for lots of reasons. Just because your family isn't the same as it used to be doesn't mean that it's not still a family.
The most important thing to remember is that it's not your fault.
When two adults decide to separate, their reasons have to do with their own relationship, not their relationship with their children.
It's also important to understand that it's okay to feel sad. Give yourself permission to be upset and try talking to people you trust about how you feel.
Reach Out! has more advice on coming to terms with divorce.
Death and illness
Death and illness are difficult things to deal with especially when they affect people close to us.
If you're dealing with the death of a family member or struggling to cope with your own or someone else's illness, try connecting with family or friends.
Here are some options available to you:
- eHeadspace - chat online or get help at www.eheadspace.org.au
- Lifeline - call on 13 11 14
- Kids Helpline - call on 1800 55 1800
- Griefline - call on 1300 845 745
ReachOut! has more information about finding help while coping with death and illness.
Family violence
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call the police on 000.
Family violence doesn't just mean experiencing violence from your immediate family.
It can mean violence perpetrated by your partner or someone you are in a ‘family-like’ relationship with.
Family violence isn't just about physical injury. It can also include:
- direct or indirect threats
- sexual assault
- emotional and psychological abuse
- using money to abuse or exert control
- damage to property
- social isolation
- behaviour causing someone to feel fear.
Who is affected by family violence?
Family violence can happen to anyone. It’s not your fault.
Family violence is most commonly carried out by men against women who are their current or former partners in heterosexual relationships. Family violence also occurs in LGBTIQA+ relationships. This is known as intimate partner violence.
Family violence is also carried out by:
- people, including family members, who provide support for people with disabilities
- adult children against their elderly parent(s)
- young people against their parents
- parents against their children
- family members against others in their extended family
- siblings.
What is acceptable in a relationship?
Healthy relationships are based on equality and respect between people.
People in healthy relationships have occasional arguments.
People in unhealthy relationships behave in a way that hurts the other person, frightens them or makes them feel unsafe.
If you’re worried that a relationship isn’t healthy, contact The Orange Door in your area for help and support.
Family violence is against the law. The main legislation (law) on family violence in Victoria is the Family Violence Protection Act 2008. It says family violence can be physical, economic, psychological and sexual, and that it can happen in different kinds of family relationships.
Where to get help with family violence
If you need support or just someone to talk to, you can:
- Call Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre (24 hours) — 1800 015 188 — helping women and children experiencing violence from partners/ex-partners.
- Find an Orange Door service near you. The Orange Door is a free service for adults, children and young people who are experiencing, or have experienced, family violence.
For more help with family violence, you can contact:
- 1800 Respect is a national hotline operated by trained counsellors. The service is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to support people impacted by family violence — call 1800 737 732. More information can be found on 1800 Respect.
- Djirra is committed to providing culturally safe and accessible services to Aboriginal people seeking support. Call 1800 105 303 or visit the website.
- InTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence is a specialist family violence service that works with multicultural women, their families and their communities. Call 1800 755 988 or visit the InTouch website.
- Rainbow Door is a free specialist LGBTIQA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Gender Diverse, Intersex, Queer, Asexual, BrotherBoys, SisterGirls) helpline providing information, support, and referral to all LGBTIQA+ Victorians, their friends and family during the COVID-19 crisis and beyond. Call 1800 729 367 or visit the Rainbow Door website.
- Sexual Assault Crisis Line is a state-wide, after-hours, confidential, telephone crisis counselling service for people who have experienced sexual assault. You can call the crisis line on 1800 806 292.
- What's OK At Home is a site for young people who are experiencing family violence in their home and needing information, advice and support. Visit What's OK At Home.
- Men's Referral Service provides support and referral for men who use violence. Call 1300 766 491 or visit the website.
Having to leave your family home
Sometimes family issues, particularly those involving abuse or violence, mean you have to leave your family, home or partner.
Coping with your emotions, getting money together and finding somewhere to live all at the same time can be hard.
If you need to talk to someone, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
Crisis and emergency accommodation is available for people whose homes are no longer safe and who have nowhere else to go.
See our finding emergency accommodation page to find what options you have and who you can talk to.
More information
Better Health Channel's relationships page has more information about dealing with family relationships and how to find more support.