Life's a lot better when you can share it with the people you love. Family and friends share our triumphs, help us through tough times, and just help us pass the time.
But relationships don't just look after themselves - if we aren't careful we can end up hurting the people around us, or vice versa. In this section you'll find tips for managing your relationships with the people who matter the most.
Making friends
There can be lonely times in life where it seems impossible to find anyone you get along with or 'click' with. Maybe there's no one around, or you don't have the chance to meet many new people. Maybe you don't feel that confident about meeting people.
It's important to remember that circumstances will eventually change and bring you into contact with different groups of people.
Great friendships can be formed in many different situations like when someone new turns up at school or in your neighbourhood, or if you change schools or finish school and start work or uni. You can also make changes yourself to try to make new friends by:
- Trying new things
- Learning new skills
- Joining a club or interest group
Helping your friends out
Helping out is part of friendship. Friends can support each other to make their own decisions by listening and being open-minded. Have a look at the Reach Out! (new window) website for some general information on helping out friends.
It's hard to stand by when a friend is struggling with a serious issue or problem. If you're wondering what to do and where to turn to about a friend's problem there are websites that have good advice and support for you on many issues including:
- Eating Disorders - Eating Disorders Foundation of Victoria (new window) for friends with eating disorders
- Mental Health - Itsallright (new window) for friends with mental health issues
- Domestic Violence - Domestic Violence Resource Centre (new window) for friends suffering from abuse
- Drug Information - Drug Info Clearing House (new window) for friends with drug or alcohol problems
- Gambling Help - The Problem Gambling website (new window) has information on how to deal with a gambling problem
Bullying and other problems
You don't have to be friends with everyone. There's no rule that says you have to like everyone, or that everyone's going to like you.
Some people including peers and so-called 'friends' can make your life a misery by teasing or making hurtful comments, deliberately embarrassing or humiliating you or bullying and ostracising you.
You don't have to put up with it. You can find ways to stop or reduce bullying against you or someone you know at the Reach Out! (new window) website.
If you have to leave your family home
Sometimes family issues, particularly those involving abuse or violence, mean that you have to leave your family, home or partner and start a new life elsewhere.
Coping with your emotions, getting money together and finding somewhere to live all at the same time can be really hard. If you need to talk to someone, phone Lifeline on 131 114 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
If you are under 18, find out the legal issues involved in leaving home at Victoria Legal Aid (new window).
If you're looking for information, support or court advice on family and domestic violence issues the Department of Human Services' Children, Youth and Families Division (new window) and the Department of Justice (new window) can help.
Finding your birth parents
If you were adopted, you may like to know more about your birth or biological mother and father, and maybe even track them down.
The Victorian Government's Adoption Family Records Services (new window) has information pamphlets for people who are adopted and for adoptive parents as well.
Victorian Adoption Network for Information & Self-Help (VANISH) (new window) offers information and support for anyone involved in adoption.
The Reach Out! website also has some useful suggestions on its Making a Decision to Find Your Birth Parents (new window) page.
Sorting stuff out and finding support
Changes in family relationships are common and can have many causes, such as divorces, family illnesses and deaths. Just because your family isn't the same as it used to be doesn't mean that it's not still a family, it may just take time to feel like a family again. For more information about family separation, check out the Federal Government's Family separation: a guide for teens (new window).
However, sometimes there are issues and changes in your family, such as abuse or domestic violence, that you shouldn't put up with. You should seek help if this is the case in your family.
There are lots of people who can help in these situations, take a look at Reach Out! (new window) and Bursting the Bubble (new window) for information and support for domestic violence issues.
It's often very hard to resolve family disputes and can be very hard to even begin the process.
Mediation is a good way to try to solve these family problems by bringing in people who do not know your family members to listen to what everyone has to say. You can find out more about mediation at the Victorian Government's Department of Justice (new window) website.
If you are a woman in a troubled relationship, WIRE (new window) can give you some useful leads regarding counselling, leaving a relationship and how it can affect you and your children.
If your relationship is breaking down, it might be helpful to look at the Legal Aid (new window) for information on counselling, de facto relationships, mediation and spousal maintenance.
Links
Department of Justice - Disputes
Describes family disputes and what can be done including mediation services. It also covers family law matters, and who else can help.
Victoria Legal Aid
Explains the legal issues involved in leaving home if you're under 18 including frequently asked questions, legislation, contacts and links. It also provides information and answers to frequently asked questions about domestic violence - what it is, legal issues and where to go for help.
Women's Information Resource Network
Includes fact sheets about domestic assault and links to organisations that work to prevent violence against women and children. You can contact the Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Service Victoria 24-hour Crisis Line on (03) 9373 0123 or freecall if you live in regional Victoria on 1800 015 188.
Reach Out!
Up-front articles on relationships, including friendships, resolving an argument or disagreement, coping with peer pressure and more.
Beyondblue: The National Depression Initiative
Beyondblue's youth website has some great info about how family and friends can help with depression & anxiety.
